Close your eyes, America - go back to sleep

"Fuck you! Death to your dreams and hopes!"

As the USA election sharabang finally pulls over to the side of the redundancy turnpike, I am reminded of Bill Hicks and his colourful rendition of the British general election of April 1992.

Bill Hicks - 06 - Vote for Labour.mp3

Here's hoping, eh?!

Dizzee Rascal reminds me of Keyop from "Battle of the Planets"

This could, let's be honest, be a photo of anywhere, couldn't it?

As a resident in the South Lakes and a considered appreciator of popular culture, it would be remiss of me if I did not draw all your attentions to the biggest festival in the Cumbrian hinterlands - Kendal Calling.

Occurring at a place called Prizet (quality name), which is only 3 miles from Oxenholme Station (Gateway to the Lakes, TM) on 1-3 August 2008, it should be an excellent diversion to break up the monotony of the long summer vacation. Plus it's only 55 sheets for the whole weekend - cheap as ethnic potato wedges 'n' a salsa dip.

Chirp! Whirr! Chirp! Bug Off

Dizzee Rascal is confirmed, as are SFA (OK!). Also, local indie dreamboats, British Sea Power are going to pop their heads around the door, along with a bunch of people I've not heard of but will, I'm sure, know one end of a stringed instrument from the other.

More importantly, however, the legend that is Frank Sidebottom will be on hand to tickle ribs and split sides. The possibility of monging out to a soundtrack of the mirth-filled utterances of that particular balloon-headed, northern genius will be guaranteeing my attendance, I can assure you.

Fancy coming along?

Oh go on...

Get Carter

I got solutions to all your problems—I got 'em right here in my big, hairy ballsack

I love swearing, me. And I have a bit of a soft spot for liberalism too.

If you share those sensibilities, check out this Onion article.

If you don't, what the hell are you doing reading my blog you shitwipe? Hehehe.

Well, if I'm a virgin, how come I know what a girl's bottom looks like?

That's Rick with a silent P

It's not often you get to feel good about being in your mid-thirties. In fact, I don't think it's possible at all.

However, here's something that may make you slightly less miserable about having grown up in the Eighties - the fact that you can quote, ad nauseum, from the Young Ones.

Naturally, therefore, you'll all be wanting to get your hands on the Young Ones Anniversary DVD - pre-order on Amazon now (link)

Thunderous apologies

Morale totally destroyed... by pooh-pooh!

Just realised that I lied like a cheap persian shagpile when I said earlier that I'd come across nothing of note to post in recent weeks.

In fact, there is one new addition to my RSS feed that, whilst being slightly verbose, is reprieved somewhat by being infrequently populated. And, of course, by being the output of one Stephen Fry...

Link to Stephen Fry blog.

So far, there've been two posts - one on smartphones (and gadgetry in general) and another on, well, celebrity culture. Both chocked full of words you need to look up in a dictionary so that's reason enough to sign up, I feel.