There'll be plenty for me to muse on, I thought - the pleasure of getting back to proper cricket after the interminable pyjama session that was the ICCCWCWI2007 (Guardian Link), the irony of the fact that the West Indies have replaced their production line of fast, accurate pace bowlers with a production line of ponderous, inaccurate trundlers, the obscenity that is the modern international cricket schedule where a touring team are afforded one warm-up match (which was virtually rained off) before the start of the Test series, how great Monty Panesar is, etc, etc.
And yet all I could think about was the calamitous, disused graveyard of enamel that is Matt Prior's dental misdemeanour - in the words of Daphne and Celeste , "U.G.L.Y. - you ain't got no alibi; you ugly!".
Into the bargain, I spotted this little tit-bit (Corridor Link), and there's even more incriminating evidence on Prior - apparently he is possibly (and I'm quoting here) "a bit of a twat". Conclusive evidence, if any were required.
Surely there is an argument for ensuring that, if there's no obvious talent-orientated criteria by which to differentiate between two players for selection purposes, we should opt for the one that's easiest on the eye - if only to enhance the possibility of luring back the female demographic and giving the cricket bores amongst us a chance to show off at dinner parties (God, remember the heady aftermath of Ashes 2005 when you could talk to anyone, ANYONE, about cricket and they'd be interested? Ha!).
I reckon we should go with the Surrey pin-up, Jonathan Batty...
Sweet, he's even got himself a tan.
And under no circumstances should anyone ever mention Tim Ambrose as a candidate...
His nickname is "Freak" (source - Cricinfo). Say no more.
Of course, Prior's century was sumptuous in it's perfectly appointed arrogance but he's got a mouth like a Rusedski Family car crash and he's "a bit of a twat" (quote, ergo fact).
Done and dusted, Batty's your man.
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